Arti Puasa

Puasa, bagi saya masih sekedar menahan lapar dan dahaga. Nafsu? Gosip, bergunjing dan lain-lain? Yah, terkadang lepas juga. Sangat disayangkan sudah berumur begini namun penghayatan ibadahnya masih cetek.

Hari ini, saya sampai pada suatu pikiran. Jika lapar, saya sangat beringas. Saya akan berusaha mencari apa yang bisa dimakan. Tidak jarang efek lapar ini membuat saya emosian, menggigil dan detak jantung makin kencang.

Beruntung, saya punya uang. Saya bisa makan. Bagaimana dengan yang tidak? Mereka merasakan desperasi yang sama dengan saya, namun tidak bisa apa-apa karena tidak ada uang. Dengan puasa, bagaimana[un laparnya saya, saya tidak boleh makan. Sebanyak apapun uang saya, saya tidak bisa makan juga.

Saya jadi bermuhasabah, betapa berutungnya saya ketika yang lain tidak. Saya rasa, dengan puasa saya bisa memahami saudara-saudara saya yang kelaparan tapi tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa. Dan, memang itulah yang diajarkan kepada saya. Hanya saja, baru sekarang saya bisa meresapinya.

Berkah bisa datang kapan saja.

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Urutan Menikah

Jika ditelaah, dalam lingkaran teman, saya berpotensi untuk menikah belakangan. In fact, saya sudah tertinggal. Mari kita daftar ketertinggalan ini:

Sekolah Dasar:

Teman-teman terdekat memang belum banyak yang menikah. Namun, saya tidak terlalu terpengaruh karena kita sudah tidak lagi dekat.

 

Sekolah Menengah Pertama:

Oh, ada satu yang telah menikah dan memiliki anak. Yang lain belum, tapi ada yang akan segera menyusul.

 

Sekolah Menengah Atas:

Well, sohib seangkatan sudah banyak yang menikah dan memiliki anak. Ada yang belum tapi setidaknya sudah memiliki calon. Teman kelas? Baru dua orang sih, namun ada aroma akan meningkat kuantitasnya  dalam waktu dekat.

 

Sarjana:

Sohib dikelas, sudah semua. Yang satu baru aja anget banget kemaren. Teman organisasi? Tinggal saya sendiri. Eh, ada lagi satu orang. Uh, untunglah.

 

Master:

Tim Hore, satu sudah menikah, dua akan segera. Sendiri lagi.  Tapi disini banyak senior yang belum juga ada tanda-tanda menikah. Jadi, tidak mengapa. Sungguh, tidak mengapa.

 

What I want to be?

Couple months to graduate from this master program, I started asking myself, What will I become? Um, nope, what I want to be? It might be a more suitable question to be answered. Being a student for almost the rest of my life makes me really comfortable till I forget that there is next stage of life in front of my eyes.

It is my last semester, there are only two classes I need to take and one more independent study left. Well, I have a bunch free time. Till then one random moment I downloaded webtoon and started to read comics from there. There were couple interesting stories I keep reading and waiting for the next chapter. The last one I read has only 28 episodes, the shortest story yet strong enough to push me producing one writing here.

The title was Annarasumanara. Weird, huh? At first, I just randomly open this since I had nothing to do. The story a bit confuse me at first. But then I got attack from ending. The story was serving an education life in South Korea while good grade is everything. Its either you who obsess become a top class or your parents. In this story, the parents that one who have obsession toward their children to become top in class and society. Te problem is they do not even questioning what their children like and what they want to do in future.

The main character here was a magician called L. He once became a top student and received much pressure on his life because of it. He was pushed to be in the top class of society, have a good job, big salary and typical success according to the society. Till in one condition that he started to have illusions, act like he is a kid and refuse to become an adult because he does not want to live in what kind of adult life nowadays. I do not know how to describe it but let me jump to the point.

Is it society or ourselves who decide our future? Do we really need to hear people talk about us when we decided to do what we want although it is not like typically an ideal thing in society? Can we just do whatever makes us happy even it is not earning a lot of money? Is it crazy to not live like what ideal society told us? Can we just enjoy what we like? Can we just close our ears?

Those questions haunt me now. Until almost the end of writing this, I still do not know what to do in my future. What should I do after graduate? Am I looking for a good job with good salary, a good husband and comfortable life? The sure thing is I decided to not drawn by a concept of what ideal society is. I won’t let what people said bring me down. I will just.. survive with whatever I decide later as long as I am happy with it. I promise. Sigh.