What I want to be?

Couple months to graduate from this master program, I started asking myself, What will I become? Um, nope, what I want to be? It might be a more suitable question to be answered. Being a student for almost the rest of my life makes me really comfortable till I forget that there is next stage of life in front of my eyes.

It is my last semester, there are only two classes I need to take and one more independent study left. Well, I have a bunch free time. Till then one random moment I downloaded webtoon and started to read comics from there. There were couple interesting stories I keep reading and waiting for the next chapter. The last one I read has only 28 episodes, the shortest story yet strong enough to push me producing one writing here.

The title was Annarasumanara. Weird, huh? At first, I just randomly open this since I had nothing to do. The story a bit confuse me at first. But then I got attack from ending. The story was serving an education life in South Korea while good grade is everything. Its either you who obsess become a top class or your parents. In this story, the parents that one who have obsession toward their children to become top in class and society. Te problem is they do not even questioning what their children like and what they want to do in future.

The main character here was a magician called L. He once became a top student and received much pressure on his life because of it. He was pushed to be in the top class of society, have a good job, big salary and typical success according to the society. Till in one condition that he started to have illusions, act like he is a kid and refuse to become an adult because he does not want to live in what kind of adult life nowadays. I do not know how to describe it but let me jump to the point.

Is it society or ourselves who decide our future? Do we really need to hear people talk about us when we decided to do what we want although it is not like typically an ideal thing in society? Can we just do whatever makes us happy even it is not earning a lot of money? Is it crazy to not live like what ideal society told us? Can we just enjoy what we like? Can we just close our ears?

Those questions haunt me now. Until almost the end of writing this, I still do not know what to do in my future. What should I do after graduate? Am I looking for a good job with good salary, a good husband and comfortable life? The sure thing is I decided to not drawn by a concept of what ideal society is. I won’t let what people said bring me down. I will just.. survive with whatever I decide later as long as I am happy with it. I promise. Sigh.


2 thoughts on “What I want to be?

  1. for me just be what we would like to be. I was also dictated by my parents especially in education. Regretted? Nope. Because i believe whatever we choose either following the norms or not, the next chapter has been dictated by Allah and the whatever happens along the way, the concept of Redho and believed in Qada and Qadaq Allah is there. What we foresee is good to us may not be the same chapter to Allah. He knows best.

    i will let my daughter choose what she would like to be and guide her along the way to do what she thinks is the best for her. She may not even make it to university straight away from school, but there are a lot of things to learn in The University of Life. I hope she will become a muslimah who brings good to other people in so many ways and in a way she wanted.

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